I Appear Missing, Now!

Hello readers πŸ€— it’s been a while since I wrote a post and you may be wondering what the title of this one is all about πŸ€”. 

I appear missing is the title of one of my favourite Queens of the stone age songs and just recently it seems to sum up my life “shock me awake” please don’t sue my josh for using your lyrics πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ but this is literally what happened to me. 

I will explain.  I’ve gotten into a bit of a rut recently, I’ve been coming home from work and either going back to bed, or sitting for the day curled up with my dogs ignoring the world. I’m present in my life physically, but not emotionally.  I’ve checked out.  “A spitting image of me, except for a heart shaped hole where the hope runs out” a tad over dramatic but it does emphasise my point.

I came to the realisation that I needed to get back into the world I’d wanted to escape for a while.  If your an empath and your reading this perhaps you can relate. I needed to just be by myself, lock off from the emotions and energy around me.  I liked it and I stayed there.  I got to the point where I only dealt with my family, and people at work.  But the problem with that is that I became more and more miserable, and as daft as it sounds I just stayed in that hole “watching the hope run out”.  Not good ☹

So then I began mind set coaching, and I began to focus on myself. I joined a group of divas and began to feel less like a robot. 

I realised that I had lost my path and when my familiar disappeared and was tempted away by tuna that I needed to make a change.  I suspected that the goddess was telling me that I had lost my way 😟.

I set up a ritual, said my invocation three times.  I knew she would listen she knows I don’t invoke lighty.  I wrote a letter asking for her help, and set to Scrying for my wayward cat.  Three days later I was walking the neighbourhood and stumbled upon a neighbour who had been feeding her.  I took my girl home and grounded her skinny butt.

I had realised while she was away that her wildness complemented my calmness.  Something that only came into being the further onto my reiki journey I went.  I have changed so much since my attunements that’s a subject for another blog post.

I decided to once again try and find some people who follow my goddess the Morrigan and low and behold I found two. One is dedicated to 31 days of activity, to better understand our Lady and also to show her some love 😍 I’ve never formally dealt with my lady it’s more like banter and it means a lot to me. One deep and meaningful meditation later, a chance to thank my lady for the safe return of the tabby squiff bag and I feel like I can take on the world.  She stayed with me!!!!

So the next thing was to tackle this issue of not going out, I wasn’t agoraphobic I just didn’t want to do it. As the weather has been totally tropical I decided to measure how much I got out by how tanned I get. Slightly vain at face value.  But if I don’t go out I don’t get tanned.  I decided I was going to journal also and brought a fabulous new journal.  My first words so to journal.  

I’ve always felt the need to write, to process my experiences, and In the last few days I’ve written some poetry which I havent done for so long. I’ve been out with my dogs in the woods, I’ve started casework again, I’ve been out on homechecks, I’ve even made new friends. 

Next step is to get my business up and running again and get this NVQ done and dusted. Start working with my crystals again.  I recently started carrying a pretty blue tigers eye I brought for my Scrying ritual, I’ve dedicated it to my goddess. It feels good to be carrying them again, I’m the girl that went to a job interview with every crystal she owned and then fell cut my knees really badly and still got the job πŸ˜†.

If your reading this and you feel the way I have and your doing the things I was doing.  It isn’t to late to get out of that funk.  Put that loud dancy music on, go out for a walk and admire the beauty around you.  I am promising myself that I wont deny the spiritual side of myself again, this is non negotiable. 

 I am promising myself that I won’t overdo the me time and become a hermit again, and I am promising myself that I will do what feeds and nourishes my soul.  

What will you promise yourself today? 
Ciao Fidge

(Learning to walk again πŸ˜†πŸ˜†)



I joined the world of network marketing in the summer of 2015 by joining Forever Living Products.  I was lured in by the promises of financial freedom and dreamed of being a little old lady in yurt, drumming away and running an empire from my fone. I quickly fell in love with the product’s and despite several attempts to head hunt me I’ve remained with Forever despite those shiny balls being waved in front of me.

After excitedly spamming and loosing a fair few of my friend’s I looked around for a new group of people to connect with and joined several networking groups and started to interact with other people in the industry. this opened me up to other MLM companies and groups full of recruitment adverts.  I had tried placing adverts in these groups and still do but now only really to increase the audience to my two main business pages.

I see a lot of posts which start off with “what’s out there that’s free to join” or “I’m looking for a company but no blah blah company I’ve tried them they are a scam” etc etc.  Firstly yes there are companies which are free to join and that’s great if you like their products but joining a company just because they are free isnt going to give you product passion or any enthusiam it’s doomed from the get go.  80% of people who join Forever start out as customers. and frankly if you saw what I spend on myself in my own shop every month you’d probably faint πŸ˜‚

If you wanted to set up a traditional non MLM business you would have to at least invest in that business whether it was premises, stock or advertising.  There would be some initial outlay.

So as I said do your homework guys.  the next time that online party pops up on your timeline don’t ignore it, if your seriously looking for an online opportunity then multi company parties are a great way to check out what companies are out there and what opportunity they are offering without six hundred network marketers throwing their opportunity at you.

Understand the business plan and what the compensation plan is.  every company varies in how you get your commission what you have to sell etc etc.

Get to know the person who will be your upline (mentor) their job Is to show you the business.  do they recognise their team? or are they more interested in their own achievements? This is so so important. 

Have a nosy on the direct selling association website.  I know for a fact that Forever Is a member of the DSA but is the company your looking at on there? 

Don’t be scared to to ask questions take ownership of that investment.  if your parting with your hard earned cash ask exactly what your going to get for the money.  ask about website’s and those extra hidden costs. and anything else you need to know to make an informed choice.

Here is a link to my coaching and mentoring page.  please feel free to get in touch if you have any questions or would like to know more about what Forever has to offer.

Ciao Fidge 

Team lone wolf! 😍

Network marketing is it all selfies and positive quotes?

Well actually no it isn’t. 

I was talking with a friend of mine the other day she’s a business and life coach, we had connected via Facebook  and I’ve become somewhat of a content mum groupieπŸ€—she jokingly referred to me as the queen of selfie.  I got to thinking do people think that all network marketing is, is taking selfies and posting positive quotes.

The picture above is a classic example of the kind of profile picture I used to hide behind.  I have no idea who to credit this photo to but it’s beautiful and thank you.  If I did manage to take a half decent photo it used to cause a Facebook sensat ion with so many comments and likes it was unreal, I used to get so uncomfortable and it used to put me off posting pics of myself. 

So how did I go from hiding to queen of selfie you might be asking? and how is it relevant to this blog post?

Well, during the first few months of my business I avoided showing people the benefits of my products.  I avoided video, I avoided selfies, I avoided putting myself out there.  I thought that having a Facebook business page was enough and posting and spamming my friends with products was enough.  It wasnt I got no where fast!!!!!

I took a break from my business, and decided I wanted to work on me for a while.  In the biz it’s known as mindset! And it’s massively important. 

So when I looked at myself I needed to become more positive and quotes let me tell you can do that.  It’s so easy your scrolling through Facebook and you see a quote that reaches out and grabs you, you hit share and that quote stays with you for the rest of the day.

Behind most network marketing businesses is a person who is constantly working on their mindset and reading and growing as a person.

Looking back on a year ago, yes I’ve just celebrated my aloeversary 😎 I was a totally different person, I’ve worked hard to change and grow. Having a deep love for the products I sell is only part of the story, but also developing the confidence to give myself an online presence and take selfies. I do think that perhaps the products I use and the various spiritual experiences I’ve had have played a massive part in this also, however reaching out and grabbing your own destiny in your own hands will only serve you well.

Also connecting with other like minded people too that helps, I mentioned earlier that I had become a content mum groupie well one of her strong messages is to ditch perfection.  I sat and laughed when I heard this thinking about how many outtakes I have on my phone when something wasn’t just quite right.  Facebook live in recent months has blown that all out of the water, the only perfectionist part about it is the fact that you can ensure if it does go drastically wrong that anyone who didn’t catch u live can’t see the replay.

So No network marketing isnt just about taking selfies and sharing quotes and spamming your friends with product posts.  It’s actually about self development, drive, determination and self belief and you know what it’s fun too πŸ€—.

You can find me over at :


And content mum with great facebook lives at:

Ciao Fidge

An outsiders view of a mothers love for her children. πŸ‘ͺ

When you have children the world can be a scary place.  You are given this tiny bundle to love and protect and there seems to be a bogeyman lurking around every corner and harm is at every turn.

Every time someone smiles at you and your child you scowl at them and wonder why? 

This hasn’t always been the case however I think partly thanks to the media and high profile cases in which unspeakable things happen to children have sent us hyper alert.

When you suffer the loss of a child or a pregnancy the world can become a very lonely place, everyone seems to be having babies and thanks to social media everyone seems to posting pictures of their children.  

I have been in both of the positions mentioned above.  I have a healthy thriving almost sixteen year old but I have also lost two children as well.  One to miscarrage and one to ectopic pregnancy.  

I will admit that I used to suffer from insane jealousy when looking at social media and seeing pregnant ladies, newborn children and happy kids.

After starting my network marketing business I began to make new friends and invariably many of them are mums with young children.

Two ladies in particular and if they read this they will know I am talking about them.  One friend has a beautiful little girl so cheeky and funny and when we video chatted her daughter would be around as any busy mum knows wanting to be in on the action.  If my friend puts pictures up I get a tag and pictures in my inbox.

As my friend and I became closer I would chat to her little girl and say hi and wave. And then we move into the realms of give the “Monkey” a hug or a kiss from me.  One day I signed off with those words and recieved the most beautiful photo in response.  I was blown away by the love between mother and daughter and how I had been allowed to see such a special moment.  

I had a conversation with my friend and I told her that being included in her daughters life was very special to me and that It helped heal my heart very early on in our friendship and how privaliged I felt to be allowed to watch her daughter grow.

My other friend called me and as most children do her daughter wanted to say hi, so I spent about five mins just say hi to her.  Then a few minutes later I got a video of her little girl.  Again I smiled and felt privaliged.

I got to wondering about my own experiences as a mum, how many times had I held my son close as a young child just because they had smiled at him.  And was reminded of my first time out shopping with my newborn son and a little Irish woman came over peered in my pram and started exclaiming how beautiful my son was as I tried to spread myself over the pram (not a mean feat with a silvercross).

Perhaps that lady had found herself in the situation that I am now.  Perhaps she also finds joy in other people’s children.

I guess my point here is that there are some people out there who find joy in other people’s children, not because they are bad people but because their own losses have shown them the beauty of children and how a child can somehow brighten up your day.  I have a little girl I know on the bus.  I usually meet her on vet trips and she likes animals too.  She chats to me and fusses whichever pet I have with me that day.

One particular day she went back to her mum and drew a cat on the window which I photographed and shared with my facebook friends.

Don’t get me wrong I love my own child with all my heart and I have so many beautiful memories.  But the circle of life keeps on going and I miss having a little one around. But also seeing the bond between mothers and their children from the outside looking in has given me a view I didnt see from the other side of this coin.

Getting back to the point of this blog post, I’ve been so lucky that so many ladies in my life have been generous enough to share the precious moments they have with their children with me. I am lucky to have those precious memories myself.  But there are women out there who don’t have that and the highlight of their day might be meeting you and your child on the bus.  I wonder how many people had a snapshot of the relationship I have with my son and felt the same way.

Ciao Fidge

(A favourite with children and animals)

Working mom’s – it’s okay to drop the ball sometimes

I can’t remember the last time I had a spotlessly clean house or could actually eat my dinner off the floor.  When all my laundry was done and ironed and put away.  

I think working mums feel increasingly under pressure to be superwoman, to go out to work, take care of the kids, look after the men in their lives and a whole host of other jobs and chores.

If your reading this and your thinking what’s she on about? I manage okay then I take my hat my hat off to you because your a better woman than I am.

I work and run a business from home as well.  My day job can be long hours and my business can be time consuming as well.  And somewhere in the midle of all of this is my inner child screaming I just want to ignore the mess and sit on my derrierre for a while and do nothing!!!!!

So back to the title of this post.  I had a clarity call with an amazing lady called allison.  It was to do with your self care routine.  She actually asked me well what do you do for yourself? 

SILENCE (tumbleweed moment)

I don’t actually take time out for myself unless I’m forced to…..

So I made a promise to my inner child that I would try and balance the different roles that I play in my life.  My goal now is to start planning my time and doing little small things for myself.  In the self care group I’m part of we were talking about skin care routines and I decided that I needed that in my life, let’s face it I’m hurtling towards forty quicker than an intercity 125, and also to purchase make up (good job my own company has great products in both). 

So ladies when your dispairing that your domestic goddess has gotten lost under mountains of laundry and your inner child is screaming out for some attention, take a step back.  Step over the laundry pile kick back for a while and take some time out. 

Next step is to plan your time so that you feel like your achieving what you want to achieve.  Make sure you schedule in regular inner child time. And all those jobs you just have to get done before you can crack on and be productive.  And if the juggling balls do start to fall step back and make sure your getting enough me time.  
Ciao Fidge 

Tapping into the law of attraction through spiritual paths.

When I started this blog I had no idea how important it would become to me, neither did I realise that I might actually have something relevant to say. Or maybe I just waffle.

Im 34 years of age and in the past I have looked deep inside and not really connected with my inner Fidge.Β  I had spent many years around negativity.Β  Negative people, negative comments directed towards me, negative inner monologue. NEGATIVE, NEGATIVE, NEGATIVE!!!!!!

Is it really any wonder that I became the sort of person who would seek positive attention? affirmations from anyone and everyone I met?

I really just couldnt deal with myself!!!!!

Then I started a journey, one that would be painful, tough at times heartbreaking, but in the long run would lead to a place that I could feel comfortable in and just be me.

I had always felt different from everyone else, some days I wondered why other people didnt feel the way I did or care about the things I cared about.Β  I then embraced the pagan that I had always known I was.

I began to let go of people who didnt belong in my life, I began to cut cords and change as a person.Β  For the first time in my life I was changing for me not to suit anyone else.


A huge turning point for me was taking my first reiki certificate,Β  I could sit here and try and describe that day, but it was massive in my life.Β  That was almost a year ago.Β 

Round about the same time I started my Forever business, I was NOT in the right frame of mind and as you would expect it went no where fast.Β  At the time I was introduced to the secret, but in good old Fidge style I had to do it my own way and refused to allow it in.

Eventually I came back to my business and allowed myself to he open to the secret, I watched the movie.Β 

I was shocked and suprised to find that I was not new to the philosophy.Β  And I began to think that pagan/spiritual people were all in the know about this. What you send out you get back! The idea of working with energy to get what you want, sounds like spell work to me!

Things began to click into place and I realised that I had been onto the secret all along I just didnt know. I started to take control of my life and stepped out of my comfort zone time and time again and the results were amazing. I had taken a huge leap on my path and I was over the moon.

Then I began to wonder in chicken or egg fashion was the secret created from pagan philosophy or was pagan philosophy created due to knowledge of the secret? Im still wondering to this day.

I also began to connect this with Maslows Hierarchy of needs with self actualisation being the very tip of the triange.  Perhaps he was in on the secret too.


In any case if your reading this I choose to share the secret with you!!! What you choose to do with it is up to you

Ciao Fidge
(Philosophical and deep)

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