I Appear Missing, Now!

Hello readers 🤗 it’s been a while since I wrote a post and you may be wondering what the title of this one is all about 🤔. 

I appear missing is the title of one of my favourite Queens of the stone age songs and just recently it seems to sum up my life “shock me awake” please don’t sue my josh for using your lyrics 😂😂 but this is literally what happened to me. 

I will explain.  I’ve gotten into a bit of a rut recently, I’ve been coming home from work and either going back to bed, or sitting for the day curled up with my dogs ignoring the world. I’m present in my life physically, but not emotionally.  I’ve checked out.  “A spitting image of me, except for a heart shaped hole where the hope runs out” a tad over dramatic but it does emphasise my point.

I came to the realisation that I needed to get back into the world I’d wanted to escape for a while.  If your an empath and your reading this perhaps you can relate. I needed to just be by myself, lock off from the emotions and energy around me.  I liked it and I stayed there.  I got to the point where I only dealt with my family, and people at work.  But the problem with that is that I became more and more miserable, and as daft as it sounds I just stayed in that hole “watching the hope run out”.  Not good ☹

So then I began mind set coaching, and I began to focus on myself. I joined a group of divas and began to feel less like a robot. 

I realised that I had lost my path and when my familiar disappeared and was tempted away by tuna that I needed to make a change.  I suspected that the goddess was telling me that I had lost my way 😟.

I set up a ritual, said my invocation three times.  I knew she would listen she knows I don’t invoke lighty.  I wrote a letter asking for her help, and set to Scrying for my wayward cat.  Three days later I was walking the neighbourhood and stumbled upon a neighbour who had been feeding her.  I took my girl home and grounded her skinny butt.

I had realised while she was away that her wildness complemented my calmness.  Something that only came into being the further onto my reiki journey I went.  I have changed so much since my attunements that’s a subject for another blog post.

I decided to once again try and find some people who follow my goddess the Morrigan and low and behold I found two. One is dedicated to 31 days of activity, to better understand our Lady and also to show her some love 😍 I’ve never formally dealt with my lady it’s more like banter and it means a lot to me. One deep and meaningful meditation later, a chance to thank my lady for the safe return of the tabby squiff bag and I feel like I can take on the world.  She stayed with me!!!!

So the next thing was to tackle this issue of not going out, I wasn’t agoraphobic I just didn’t want to do it. As the weather has been totally tropical I decided to measure how much I got out by how tanned I get. Slightly vain at face value.  But if I don’t go out I don’t get tanned.  I decided I was going to journal also and brought a fabulous new journal.  My first words so to journal.  

I’ve always felt the need to write, to process my experiences, and In the last few days I’ve written some poetry which I havent done for so long. I’ve been out with my dogs in the woods, I’ve started casework again, I’ve been out on homechecks, I’ve even made new friends. 

Next step is to get my business up and running again and get this NVQ done and dusted. Start working with my crystals again.  I recently started carrying a pretty blue tigers eye I brought for my Scrying ritual, I’ve dedicated it to my goddess. It feels good to be carrying them again, I’m the girl that went to a job interview with every crystal she owned and then fell cut my knees really badly and still got the job 😆.

If your reading this and you feel the way I have and your doing the things I was doing.  It isn’t to late to get out of that funk.  Put that loud dancy music on, go out for a walk and admire the beauty around you.  I am promising myself that I wont deny the spiritual side of myself again, this is non negotiable. 

 I am promising myself that I won’t overdo the me time and become a hermit again, and I am promising myself that I will do what feeds and nourishes my soul.  

What will you promise yourself today? 
Ciao Fidge

(Learning to walk again 😆😆)



If you’ve followed my blog for a while you kinda know I’m the outdoors type of person.  I love to be out and about with my dogs doing things and I really don’t mind getting my hands dirty.  

I have pretty much been a Tomboy most of my life my younger years have been spent climbing trees and falling out of them, running around with boys and wishing I were prettier.

So joining forever living products wasn’t a logical next step for me.  Beauty products and make up and everything in between really wasn’t my deal or so I thought.  I actually swore I wouldn’t sell the make up as I won’t sell products that I don’t use myself.

But then came June 2016 and the fact that I hit 35 this year…

I attended the June success day and had raided my up line joanne’s make up bag and then I started snapping selfies.  The response I got on social media shocked me.  I’d gone from hiding behind fantasy art pics of beautiful women to posting pictures of myself.  I felt naked and exposed.  The response I got from those closest to me was totally unexpected.

Suddenly I understood why women LOVE make up, it makes you feel totally different.   Then I was in a Dilemma wearing make up went against every single principle I held.  I hated the stuff I hated the way it felt on my face, I always seemed to look like a clown and it really just wasn’t me.

But when I hit my 30’s things changed.  I became more aware of the way I looked.  And through using Forevers products I could see changes in myself.  Through drinking the gels and doing c9’s on a regular basis I was slowly becoming happier in myself.  The personal care products rounded off that package.  They improved my confidence in ME!

The make up was the icing on the cake.  Pretty much most of Forever make up is infused with Aloe Vera, I love the fact that I don’t suddenly feel like my face is about to fall off like a landslide and it really doesnt interfere with my life.  And when I’m done being a girlie girl I go wash it off and go back to basics.  

I think there Is a happy medium between being a girlie girl or a Tomboy it’s called being whoever the heck you want to be! I like to be both.  It’s no big secret that I’ve been on a huge personal journey these last three years and discovering I actually like wearing make up and having a pamper now and then actually makes me feel good.  

As important as the spiritual side of my life is and finding that inner peace has certainly helped, I also like to suprise people now and then as well.  Taking care of my body from inside to out has improved my confidence too.
There is a big culture on social media against selfies, but ive learnt not to Judge, I click the like button or even a love or a wow.  I’d like to think that someone who gets that notification smiles and thinks OMG I never expected that….. just like I did.

My greatest triumph and happiest moment was when I asked my son that question that all males dread “How do I look? ” the answer “stunning” coming from a teenager and anyone who owns one can relate that’s praise indeed.  The fact that he agreed to take a selfie with me well that almost choked me up.

So back to the message, there is always a message 🙄 be who you want to be, if you want to jump on a facebook live sporting a mom  bun do it.  If you want to sit for hours doing your make up do it! If you can’t leave for the school run without looking like you stepped off the cover of Vogue fair play girl.  And if your a TomGirl like me embrace it.  Do whatever makes you happy and keeps you true to yourself.

Life Is too short to worry about what others think live in the here and now. And enjoy it!!!!!

 If makeup is your thing and you’d like to know more about our products you can head over to my facebook page at www.facebook.com/fidgetpie.  Check out the shop now option.then look for the tab which says flawless by Sonya.

Thanks for reading.

Ciao Fidge 💙

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