When you have children the world can be a scary place. You are given this tiny bundle to love and protect and there seems to be a bogeyman lurking around every corner and harm is at every turn.
Every time someone smiles at you and your child you scowl at them and wonder why?
This hasn’t always been the case however I think partly thanks to the media and high profile cases in which unspeakable things happen to children have sent us hyper alert.
When you suffer the loss of a child or a pregnancy the world can become a very lonely place, everyone seems to be having babies and thanks to social media everyone seems to posting pictures of their children.
I have been in both of the positions mentioned above. I have a healthy thriving almost sixteen year old but I have also lost two children as well. One to miscarrage and one to ectopic pregnancy.
I will admit that I used to suffer from insane jealousy when looking at social media and seeing pregnant ladies, newborn children and happy kids.
After starting my network marketing business I began to make new friends and invariably many of them are mums with young children.
Two ladies in particular and if they read this they will know I am talking about them. One friend has a beautiful little girl so cheeky and funny and when we video chatted her daughter would be around as any busy mum knows wanting to be in on the action. If my friend puts pictures up I get a tag and pictures in my inbox.
As my friend and I became closer I would chat to her little girl and say hi and wave. And then we move into the realms of give the “Monkey” a hug or a kiss from me. One day I signed off with those words and recieved the most beautiful photo in response. I was blown away by the love between mother and daughter and how I had been allowed to see such a special moment.
I had a conversation with my friend and I told her that being included in her daughters life was very special to me and that It helped heal my heart very early on in our friendship and how privaliged I felt to be allowed to watch her daughter grow.
My other friend called me and as most children do her daughter wanted to say hi, so I spent about five mins just say hi to her. Then a few minutes later I got a video of her little girl. Again I smiled and felt privaliged.
I got to wondering about my own experiences as a mum, how many times had I held my son close as a young child just because they had smiled at him. And was reminded of my first time out shopping with my newborn son and a little Irish woman came over peered in my pram and started exclaiming how beautiful my son was as I tried to spread myself over the pram (not a mean feat with a silvercross).
Perhaps that lady had found herself in the situation that I am now. Perhaps she also finds joy in other people’s children.
I guess my point here is that there are some people out there who find joy in other people’s children, not because they are bad people but because their own losses have shown them the beauty of children and how a child can somehow brighten up your day. I have a little girl I know on the bus. I usually meet her on vet trips and she likes animals too. She chats to me and fusses whichever pet I have with me that day.
One particular day she went back to her mum and drew a cat on the window which I photographed and shared with my facebook friends.
Don’t get me wrong I love my own child with all my heart and I have so many beautiful memories. But the circle of life keeps on going and I miss having a little one around. But also seeing the bond between mothers and their children from the outside looking in has given me a view I didnt see from the other side of this coin.
Getting back to the point of this blog post, I’ve been so lucky that so many ladies in my life have been generous enough to share the precious moments they have with their children with me. I am lucky to have those precious memories myself. But there are women out there who don’t have that and the highlight of their day might be meeting you and your child on the bus. I wonder how many people had a snapshot of the relationship I have with my son and felt the same way.
(A favourite with children and animals)